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Expert Suggestions on Preparation for Computer Based CAT-09

"Why am I doing MBA?"

- by Lalit kumar

After more than a year of introspection, self-realization and complete scanning of my mindspace, and then dissecting my 'needs' gingerly on Maslow's hierarchy, I have reached 'the conclusion' as to what I am doing here. Read on -

I am here for the money!

I vividly recall the imploring look on my project manager's face when I handed over my resignation at infy, "Stay on Lalit, you will be moving to Austin shortly for Schlumbergers project." I gave him a contemptuous look... Poor soul! Doesn't even realize that I am destined for higher things in life - consulting, investment banking and so on.

Well, after an year, the economy is picking up but unfortunately consulting & investment banking sectors are kinda small and software sector is kinda big; even Infy is recruiting massively again...

"You get monkeys, if you pay peanuts"... please, please, please, look closely at my face... don't I look like a monkey? Recruit me please.

I am here for the Holy Grail, 'gyan'!

I am here for learning, the quest to be a complete professional [frantically, I realize I still don't have a 'Raymond' suit :-( ].

A month after I moved in last year, I noted in my diary -
"It has hardly been one and a half months since I joined IIMK, but the learning has been immense. I have realized the value of teamwork and learning together, sharing what you know with others, and appreciating other's viewpoints as well. I have learnt to be on my toes always, ready to face quizzes, or complete assignments or make presentations in a jiffy. I have learned to view things in proper perspective with 'the big picture' always in mind. Blah blah blah..."

Day before yesterday I noted down -
"Porter has become famous for his 5 forces, Kotler has his 4 P's, Ohmae has given his 3 C's... well Lalit is on his way to stardom with his 3 Z's -

  • Zero in - customers are like prey & you as a marketer are the hunter... zero in on your customer with full 'armory'.

  • Zoom - surge ahead your competitors by zooming past them... you ought to have Ferrari if you dream of taking on those 'big guys' out there.

  • Zzz... - never ever... (sleep), otherwise you will be overwhelmed by change... you know, most organizations die coz they are not able to adapt to changing external environment and not able to handle the negative 'externalities'."

I pat myself on the back; here is another management guru in the making.


I am here to hone my decision-making skills!

Every morning at dot 9 am, I am faced with a critical decision problem - to take a bath or rush for breakfast, or to have both bath and breakfast, or to have neither. After a quick debit & credit in my bath and breakfast accounts and a careful evaluation of my alternatives on SWOT and tracing the value-chain & cost-benefit analysis, I rush headlong for the class to take on 'the day'... naah it's not just another day, it's the day appointed for rendezvous with strategic management!

I am here to live 'life in the fast lane'!

Mr. Robinson of Stanford ('Snapshots from hell') was all nuts handling 4-5 courses in a semester, and here I am juggling 8 courses per semester... yes, I have handled pressure cooker stress with utmost ease... it's a different matter that few of the books are so valuable that I have preserved them brand new for posterity... I have cases, assignments, projects... you see, I slept at 3 am yesterday, coz I was stuck with that crucial presentation... (You scumbag, what you had in mind...?)

I am here for the 'damsels'!

One nanosecond of fever and it's gone... wasn't Infy a paradise in comparison? I curse my friend who had shown me the beauties in Symbi's prospectus, forcing me to believe B-schools are heaven for 'single and looking'.

I am here for Nirvana!

Yes, it's time to adopt a realistic attitude - when one has seen it all, one turns inward to attain moksha. I am in that state of bliss. All great men have been enlightened under one tree or the other - Buddha had his bodhi tree, Newton had his apple tree. Unfortunate for me, I have attained nirvana even before I can dash to the nearest coconut tree.

* All characters in this narrative are fictional and any resemblance to anyone living is purely incidental.

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