"Why am I doing MBA?"
- by Lalit kumar
After more than a year of introspection, self-realization and
complete scanning of my mindspace, and then dissecting my 'needs' gingerly on
Maslow's hierarchy, I have reached 'the conclusion' as to what I am doing here.
Read on -
I am here for the money!
I vividly recall the imploring look on my project manager's
face when I handed over my resignation at infy, "Stay on Lalit, you will be
moving to Austin shortly for Schlumbergers project." I gave him a
contemptuous look... Poor soul! Doesn't even realize that I am destined for
higher things in life - consulting, investment banking and so on.
Well, after an year, the economy is picking up but
unfortunately consulting & investment banking sectors are kinda small and
software sector is kinda big; even Infy is recruiting massively again...
"You get monkeys, if you pay peanuts"... please, please,
please, look closely at my face... don't I look like a monkey? Recruit me
please.
I am here for the Holy Grail,
'gyan'!
I am here for learning, the quest to be a complete
professional [frantically, I realize I still don't have a 'Raymond' suit :-( ].
A month after I moved in last year, I noted in my diary -
"It has hardly been one and a half months since I joined IIMK, but the learning
has been immense. I have realized the value of teamwork and learning together,
sharing what you know with others, and appreciating other's viewpoints as well.
I have learnt to be on my toes always, ready to face quizzes, or complete
assignments or make presentations in a jiffy. I have learned to view things in
proper perspective with 'the big picture' always in mind. Blah blah blah..."
Day before yesterday I noted down -
"Porter has become famous for his 5 forces, Kotler has his 4 P's, Ohmae has
given his 3 C's... well Lalit is on his way to stardom with his 3 Z's -
-
Zero in - customers are like prey & you as a marketer are
the hunter... zero in on your customer with full 'armory'.
-
Zoom - surge ahead your competitors by zooming past
them... you ought to have Ferrari if you dream of taking on those 'big guys'
out there.
-
Zzz... - never ever... (sleep), otherwise you will be
overwhelmed by change... you know, most organizations die coz they are not
able to adapt to changing external environment and not able to handle the
negative 'externalities'."
I pat myself on the back; here is another management guru in the making.
I am here to hone my decision-making
skills!
Every morning at dot 9 am, I am faced with a critical
decision problem - to take a bath or rush for breakfast, or to have both bath
and breakfast, or to have neither. After a quick debit & credit in my bath and
breakfast accounts and a careful evaluation of my alternatives on SWOT and
tracing the value-chain & cost-benefit analysis, I rush headlong for the class
to take on 'the day'... naah it's not just another day, it's the day appointed
for rendezvous with strategic management!
I am here to live 'life in the fast
lane'!
Mr. Robinson of Stanford ('Snapshots from hell') was all nuts
handling 4-5 courses in a semester, and here I am juggling 8 courses per
semester... yes, I have handled pressure cooker stress with utmost ease... it's
a different matter that few of the books are so valuable that I have preserved
them brand new for posterity... I have cases, assignments, projects... you see,
I slept at 3 am yesterday, coz I was stuck with that crucial presentation...
(You scumbag, what you had in mind...?)
I am here for the 'damsels'!
One nanosecond of fever and it's gone... wasn't Infy a
paradise in comparison? I curse my friend who had shown me the beauties in
Symbi's prospectus, forcing me to believe B-schools are heaven for 'single and
looking'.
I am here for Nirvana!
Yes, it's time to adopt a realistic attitude - when one has
seen it all, one turns inward to attain moksha. I am in that state of
bliss. All great men have been enlightened under one tree or the other - Buddha
had his bodhi tree, Newton had his apple tree. Unfortunate for me, I have
attained nirvana even before I can dash to the nearest coconut tree.
* All characters in this narrative are fictional and any
resemblance to anyone living is purely incidental.
